Hub as Vacation With 13 Days Left.

"You're going to be the biggest thing in history? That's big talk when you're sleeping every day away."

First, I lived like a queen this weekend. Snuggled up in a friends apartment while she was on a trip, with absolute overwhelming silence. Hours and hours, of uninterrupted sleep without even having a TV on! 

In the silence I finally had a chance to think about this whole thing, and started really asking what am I doing here, and writing out my responses.I took a long warm bath. I studied fusha for hours, then darija for hours. I read a friend's thesis. I watched a couple movies, chatted with friends, finally got to see mom and dads' faces on Skype and finally realized that while this first part has been rough, Peace Corps still feels like it was the right choice for me.  This weekend, all in all, was rejuvenating. It is fascinating how much comfort a little bit of privacy affords a person. 

Now, there are just 13 days until I get my site assignment. If you really want to count we are supposed to get them at 2:00pm our time, so more like 12 days and 22 hours. I couldn't possibly be more excited. The idea of having a community, planning for it, and starting a routine is awe-inspiring. 

I don't know much, but I know that my first purchase will probably be a desk like set up, long before I think about a bed. I can't wait to set up my own little study and work world. I can't wait to start to be able to track the good I am doing in the community I become an official part of. Till then, I have one more hub and then 9 days. 

Hub, as a concept, is a place that forms the effective center of an activity, region, or network. For Peace Corps it is where half of the new staj gets together for three days to go over concepts we need to be incorporating into our dar ash-shabab as well as safety and security discussions, logistics explanations, and general support. 

We have three hubs, equally spaced throughout our training. As can be imagined, it is a perfect unwind time for loads of the trainees. It doesn't hurt that there are hot showers, delicious meals, a whole bunch of people who remind me of being home and make me feel less lonely, and sweet sweet alone time. Oh also I get a bit of internet access while at hub (usually when I am sitting in the conference room :/ )

Hub starts tomorrow, which means after I post this I will return to my home stay and go sleep there till our early morning train ride. Then I will spend a few days at a hotel learning a whole bunch more final type logistic things. I am excited to be surrounded by the other PCTs again, just because it's a little rough only talking to some of them on the phone. 

As far as my thought-filled weekend goes…here is what I got: 

I guess every day it becomes weirder, when I realize I am actually in Peace Corps. Recently, the realization keeps hitting me when a particular student comes to class completely prepared, with everything. He comes with the photocopies of all previous lessons, in order, all completed. He practices. He has a notebook specifically for lessons with me. He hands me homework. He has stopped calling me 'my teacher' and started saying 'Leanna.'

Then, even more so than him I have another girl, who came my first day of teaching with absolutely no knowledge of English. On Thursday she wrote a full paragraph for me about how she 'used to have unhealthy habits, but has changed them because she wants to live a long time' in perfect English. Unfortunately, I will only be with them for the next two weeks. By unfortunately, I mean it is making me super sad that I started them on a journey that I can't help them continue on (but I will Skype the more serious ones if they are willing and able). I am really not looking forward to saying goodbye to these students, but I can't wait to start a rhythm with the new ones at my permanent site. 

Otherwise, my camera broke. I went on a fantastic long hike with a couple of other trainees in my group (Yousef and Alison) and took a terrible fall on the way back down. Mostly I just landed full weight, hard, on a rock - which cracked my camera screen to the core. Nice work I know. Oh, also, my glasses broke (an arm broke off them). I am handing them off at hub to the medical staff who will handle getting the arm attached again (it should be a simple ish fix, we shall see). 

I imagine I will actually, despite the fact that I will be living in, thinking in, and speaking darija all day long, get shweea (a little) better at English grammar (simply because I will be learning rules for the first time in order to teach them) or all my students will end up with atrocious grammar…also a real possibility.

I am nervous about some silly things. I am nervous I will be at site with a couple. I know that sounds ridiculous, but I don't know how I would not be consistently jealous of their automatic support system for the next two years. I am nervous about finding reasonably priced housing on my own. I am nervous I might end up terribly far from everyone I know (including Moroccans). I am nervous about the dialect differences or learning a dialect of Berber if the situation calls for it. I'm also nervous about relationships in this whole situation for the next two years. Everyone I talk to seems to be all over the place about them, and all my idealized, everything will just work out when it is supposed to shit, doesn't really work in this context. Basically, it sure is a lot to think about. Glad I had such a long bath. 

I know the current requests still stand, for photos and food descriptions - and I am getting there I promise… I just now have to figure out how to afford a used camera...

Spring/English Camp is Over!

It's March. Are you kidding me?

I haven't really had time, nor internet, to keep up with this blog like I intended to so here is what you missed. 

• One shower, this morning. (Literally check out the date on that last blog post and let me know how you feel about that).
• One henna night, which was exactly as awesome as it sounds…pictures will follow. 
• One spring camp. Picture being in control of 40 children who speak a language that isn't your first for a full week, during which you are to plan everything they do. That was exactly as overwhelming as it sounds, and definitely made me wish away some of my CBT time.
• A lot of really killer meals. 
• Me and my 7 training pals doing the YMCA and the makerena on stage in a room full of Moroccan youth.
• Me realizing that actively doing something taxing for two years without getting really paid is only frustrating because I would love to get paid and use the money on the kids, and money makes shit soooo much easier here just as it does in the US. 
• Salliemae denying my economic hardship deferment that is supposed to be guaranteed because they didn't process the paperwork within thirty days of the application. If your head just exploded, just know that mine is currently also running amok, and I am working out a solution that doesn't involve leaving this program or destroying my credit. 
• Me realizing some of the many many things I don't know. Including but not limited to: singing, dancing, pop music in general, origami, how to play every silly hand game I have ever seen played, how to cook a well balanced meal that can sit for days and is great to eat at every temperature, how to spice things in general, how to explain my religious beliefs without offending those around me in perfect Darija, how to tactfully explain that I am super hungry, how to explain why I wear eyeliner (shit I wish I knew the actual answer to that), how to unawkwardly explain that I really am not looking for a husband, REALLY not, oh and also… FRENCH, jeez do I wish I knew French.

That's it. Not too much. 

I'll write a real post in the next few days (read: week)